Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize