I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You've changed since you got that strap on
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
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