It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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