Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
