No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
