Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize