3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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