That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
