rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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