the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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