Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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