wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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