I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
That reminds me...we need to get swords
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
