yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
