i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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