know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize