this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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