I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize