google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
