why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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