i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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