You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize