ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize