The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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