with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
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He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
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Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room