just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
