Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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