How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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