I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
