if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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