Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
