His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You may now shotgun with the bride
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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