do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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