i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
