Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
