omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
