You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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