The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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