He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
