Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
high people should be assigned attendants
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
