My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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