Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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