Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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