i just google imaged poop.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
