moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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