We won't sleep together?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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