It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
