I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
