i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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