She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
