if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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