My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
