bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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