You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
