went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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