i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
