Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
